photo by Kristian Birchall
I originally posted this one on my other blog, back in March. I’ve been trying without much success to come up with a decent haiku to end it. The first attempt was
which I don’t think is too bad … just not really right. It has no power. No mystery.
I toyed with a couple of other variations – trying to link the frost with fire, sunrise and ash. It should be do-able. I just haven’t been able to find it.
The current variation:
which I feel moderately happy with. I like the conflation of the sunset with the embers. I’m just not sure if “glimmer” works as a noun … maybe gleam would be better?
Tags: burning, haibun, haiku, work in progress
